The Guys

Matt Garnaas

I don't know what to write, so I'm just gonna type some shit.

Matt is from Milwaukee and still lives there. He likes to see other places and visit and shit, but Milwaukee is always home. And it's always nice to be there. Matt is a self proclaimed dog lover (he just loves them, he doesn't fuck them doggy or any other style). If he's not studying or working, he may be on xbox live where he's known as Mamajama. That is of course, unless he's busy entertaining his lady, Lynna. Matt is also a self proclaimed Lynna lover, yeah, no parentheses here, my friends. Now Matt will type some questions and answer them as if someone else other than Matt was asking them to Matt.

How long have you been with the midnight show?

For a while, man. I was a guest in a lot of shows, for years, before they asked me to join. But I've known Tim, Bill, and Dylan for 15 years - that's half of the total of years I've existed as Matt Garnaas. Dave I've known less time, but it doesn't feel like less time.

How do you prepare for the show?

I try to know what's going on in the world around me, in case it comes up. People always are yelling out shit that's current, and I don't wanna be that guy that has no clue.

How's that working out for you?

Well, I suck with names - I had to ask Dylan who Sara Pailin was the other night. I knew I heard the name, but...

It doesn't seem like you know shit about shit. What gives?

Hey dude, sometimes the brain farts.

Sorry, that was pretty unproffesional.

No, that's okay. Anyway, like I was saying, it's not super easy to keep up with this fast paced, technological, in one minute out the next world. I have to study shit like Microbiology and Biochemistry and Economics and shit, and then on top of it, I likes my shows on the TV, and plus, video games.

Quick - what is MRSA?

Methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus (I probably fucked the spelling doggy style)

What the fuck, dude, that was a quick response. Okay, who played Sloan in Ferris Beuller's Day Off?

Great movie, but I suck with names, man. I'll say do you have a kiss for daddy?

That was a Matthew Broderick line, dude.

Sorry, I spaced on the question. Let me ask you some now.

This is very unorthodox, but okay.

Let's bust it out orthodox, bitch. What's your religion?

I don't go to church, I sleep in on Sundays. Some people go, that's cool, and some don't and that's fine too. Whatever people say about america, that's at least one great thing about it, you can worship whatever you want. Okay, that was deep, my turn to ask again.

Aww c'mon, the next question was gonna be awesome!

Okay, one more.

Do you smell that?

Oh, man, nasty!

Haha. Okay, I'm out of questions.

Finally. So what games do you like on your Xbox?

I love the Grand Theft Autos, Halo, Geometry Wars Evolved, Catan, and Gears of War. I play other stuff too, but those are my favorites. Most of them are playable online with other people. Mostly, I like to play with friends, but, I'll also play strangers.

Are you tolerant of other races, beliefs and cultures?

Yep.

Have you been working out?

Oh, you can tell, huh? Yeah, I've been hittin' the gym. I work 3rd shift at a hospital and after work, I go to Snap Fitness and do some shit!

So, 3rd shift at a hospital. What's your most favorite thing about working?

Any job I've had - and I've had a broad spectrum of types of jobs - my favorite thing about working is pooping at work and getting paid for it!

Do you do sick shit, like wiping it on the wall for the janitor?

Dude, that's fucking evil. I would never do sick shit like that! I shit in a toilet and flush after wiping, then I wash my hands.

What's your favorite shot?

Whiskey

What's your favorite music?

I like it if it's good, and good is in the tympanic membrane of the listener... which is me.

Quick, turn on your ipod and tell me what song is on right now!!

Bubblegum and Beer by the Supersuckers. (phew! that could've been embarassing)

Hey, I see that, what were you afraid of seeing when you turned it on?

I guess something like I can show you the world from Aladdin or something.

Well, I've got one more, then you can stop.

Okay.

What do you look forward to every week?

Midnight on Saturdays with my boys!!!

Alright, that's it. Thanks for bearing with my unique brand of interview.

No problem, and I thought it was pretty good.

Well, it was. But I'm never letting the interviewee switch again, that could've gone horribly awry.

Don't worry, I'm a professional.

Matt can be seen on Saturdays at midnight just like the rest of these guys on the site. He wasn't sure how to end this, so he's just kind of typing now, hoping something will come to him. Nothing has yet, but he's sure that it'll make it's way somehow. Matt likes stuff and will attach some links of some of that stuff to end... that seems like a decent way to do it...